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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Goodbye

This morning, I said goodbye to Ullrick at the vet's office with the knowledge that he might not be coming home. I had a feeling that would be the last time that I would see him, and a phone call around 4 pm confirmed that feeling. He had a lump in his lymph node that was inoperable and untreatable. Rather than bring him home just so I could spend a few more days with him, I made the decision to let him cross the Rainbow Bridge while he was already asleep. To make any other decision would have been unfair to him, and I had already said my goodbyes. It happened so fast, I'm still in shock, but I know that this was the right decision for him. But knowing I made the right decision somehow doesn't make this any easier. It's just such a shame that he was such a young and beautiful cat with a full life ahead of him. He was my first cat that I had as an adult, and he will always hold a special place in my heart.

Vessa and I are hanging in there, but time is the only thing that will lessen the pain right now. It's a visceral emptiness and I keep thinking about his big, green "alien" eyes.

We will miss you.


70 Comments:

At 7:46 PM, Blogger Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

Our hearts go out to you! What a sad decision to have to make but as you explained it, it was the kindest thing to do. He was a sweet, gentle little spirit and we will miss him too. Bless you in this time of sorrow.

 
At 7:50 PM, Blogger THE ZOO said...

oh no we is sooo sorry for your loss purrs & headbutts to you both.

 
At 7:56 PM, Blogger Lil' One said...

Aw this is very sad :( But you can find comfert in the fact you gave him a very happy home while he walked the earth. Sometimes god gives us our fur friends when we need them most, and sometimes that time with them is way too short. You will see him again.

 
At 8:25 PM, Blogger Cecilia & The 2Bs said...

We are very sorry to hear the news about Ullrich. Headbutts and many purrs

 
At 8:32 PM, Blogger Skeeeeezix the Cat said...

I am so so sad to heer abowt owr frend Ullrick. My Food Lady red this and it made her face wet.

 
At 8:51 PM, Blogger The Meezers said...

Oh no, our mommy's face is furry furry we and we are furry furry sad. Poor little Ullrick!! Curiosa, we are so sorry for your loss. You can rest assured that you maded the bestest decision for him - and we know that it doesn't make it any easier to accept. We also know that Trixie and Norton and Ralphie are looking out for him at the Bridge.

 
At 8:57 PM, Blogger Latte said...

We are so sorry for your loss. We didn't know little Ullrich but our Meowmy knows how much pain you must be in right now. You did the best thing for him letting him go so peacefully. I know there is nothing anyone can say to take away your pain but know that we will light a candle to help him over the bridge.

 
At 9:23 PM, Blogger Ariel said...

My heart is so sad at your loss.Time might erase the pain.Yet hold on to the memories.He looked like a very adorable kitty.Before Ariel I had another cat Buffy her passing was very difficult for me to face.Yet their at the Rainbow Bridge free from pain.

 
At 9:37 PM, Blogger Hot(M)BC said...

Oh, that's so hard and sad. You did the kindest thing for little Ullrick, though. He'll be waiting for you and Vessa at the Rainbow Bridge with a big kitty smile for you both. We're very very sorry for your loss.
Purrs and headbutts to you both.

 
At 9:43 PM, Blogger Magoo, Smudge, Bella & Dolce said...

We are so sorry for your loss. We have no other words to give. Remember with joy the time you had with him and the fun and laughter he gave you.

 
At 9:47 PM, Blogger Emma's Kat said...

I am so sorry for your loss! And like you said, he was just so young! I am in the process of reading the archives of his blog as I had just heard of him when Derby asked for purrayers for him on the Pet Prayer & Praise Blog. He was a sweet and handsome boy and it brings tears to my eyes knowing what you're going thru! I lost my sweet Danny Boy to an aggressive cancer 2 weeks before his 8th b-day. He was my first child, fuzz or human. And I still miss him so much! I so love this picture of him snuggling/hugging, is it Vessa? Too...too sweet!!! Maybe it was Ullrick's time though. I believe everything happens for a reason! Maybe there is another little fuzz/kitty that needs you and will come into your life soon. You take care as I know it will be a tough few weeks ahead!

 
At 9:50 PM, Blogger Happy-Go-Lucky said...

Curiosa, our humans have experienced the pain of losing one of their babies way too early also. There is nothing that can make it easier but time. You have our deepest sympathy. The gang at Petronious the Arbiter and family

 
At 10:00 PM, Blogger ML (Mary Lynn) said...

It was the only thing to do, difficult as it was. You said yourself, he was unhappy and not feeling well. Now he isn't in pain.

This poem, Cat Heaven, is for Ullrick and family, it is one of my very favorite poems:

Cat Heaven
by Cynthia Rylant

The way to Cat Heaven
is a field of sweet grass
where crickets and butterflies play
A cat may be late
in getting to Heaven
there's just so much fun on the way!

But an angel will wait
at the yellow front door,
wait till a kitty comes home.
And when he arrives,
he'll give him a kiss
and some milk in a bowl of his own.

There are trees in Cat Heaven
trees made just for cats,
trees growing so green and so high.
But no one gets stuck
in a tree anymore -
if a cat wants down, he will fly!

And oh, all the toys,
kitty toys everywhere
thousands and thousands go by.
There are buttons and baubles
and small cotton mice -
there is catnip afloat in the sky!

There are angels, of course
with soft angel laps
where kitties can purr loud and strong.
The angels will rub
kitties' noses and ears
and sing them a Cat Heaven song.

And when cats are hungry
there's God's kitchen counter
all covered with white kitty dishes,
full of tuna and salmon
and mounds of sardines,
and wonderful little pink fishes.

The cats in Cat Heaven
are so loved and spoiled
God lets them all lie on His bed.
He walks in His garden
with a good Black Book
and a kitty asleep on His head.

Then when a cat needs,
he may just simply ponder
and watch the blue world deep and wide...
He will watch the old house
where he once lived and wandered,
and the people who loved him inside.

All cats love Heaven
they know the way there,
they know where the angel cats fly.
They'll run past the stars
and the moon and the sun...
and curl up with God in the sky.

 
At 10:09 PM, Blogger Fat Eric said...

Curiosa, we are so sorry to hear the tragic news about Ullrick. He was such a beautiful cat and so young too. We lost Hattie aged 8 from cancer so we know how difficult it is and how suddenly it can happen. Please give Vessa lots of hugs and scritches from us. I am sure she will do her best to comfort you with her purrs. When you feel ready, let us know how she is getting on. Purrs.

 
At 10:14 PM, Blogger Junior said...

Meowma and I are so sorry to hear this. Meowma had China before me and she was her first pet as an adult.

We will pray and light candles as Ullrich crosses the bridge.

 
At 10:16 PM, Blogger Butterscotch said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

 
At 10:28 PM, Blogger Badness said...

We are so sorry to here about Ulrich. What a shock! He was so young and handsome! Curl up with Vessa and take care of eachother.

Purrs and kitty kisses

 
At 10:36 PM, Blogger The Taylor CatSSSSS said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. All the Taylor cats will be thinking of you and Vessa. I lost my first cat too, after only a year. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 
At 10:39 PM, Blogger Kukka-Maria said...

Oh my gosh! We are thinking of you during this difficult time.

We will remember Ullrick as the adorable, sassy, bossy boy he always was. He will be terribly missed.

 
At 10:58 PM, Blogger BariD said...

I am so sorry to hear about your precious Ullrick. Each furfriend brings a special gift to our lives and it hurts so much when we have to say goodbye. My heart goes out to you and Vessa...Purrs and hugs from all at Cat Happy

 
At 11:06 PM, Blogger nels, ed, nitro, and/or xing said...

oh, dear curiosa! how very sorry we are to hear this news. what a sweet little feller ullrick was.

we've gone through this so many times at our house, and it never gets easier. you know you made the right decision, but the fact that you had to make it so soon just sucks!

we are purring for you and vessa. it's tough shakes just now; hope you can take some comfort from knowing that there's a whole lotta folks grieving with you, sharing your pain. wish we could divide it us amongst us, and thereby lessen yours.

*gentle headbutts* from all the missouri meowers, and their mom & dad

 
At 11:11 PM, Blogger Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

our deepest sympathies and purrayers - what a beautiful boy he was. our Lady can't stop the eye leakage. this is so sad.

 
At 11:15 PM, Blogger aliki said...

i can really feel for you because i love cats and have 2 in the house and another 10in the country home.ucipvhh

 
At 12:56 AM, Blogger Derby said...

Mum's eyes are leaking big time. We are both so sorry for your loss. He brought joy to your life and you to his. I still laugh about the time you took him shopping in your bag and you had to give him a bath.

Remember the good times.

 
At 1:49 AM, Blogger caspersmom said...

I am so so sorry to hear about Ullrick. I do know the pain you are in right now. Remember You did the right thing. I had to put my dog Amber down a week ago today and it still hurts. Please don't do what I did, I kicked myself around pretty badly because I put her down when deep in my heart I did know I did the right thing. God Bless you and you have someone healing along with you. Ullrick will live on in your heart, but right now it's hard to think that way. Our babies are no longer in pain.

 
At 2:07 AM, Anonymous David E. Francis said...

I am very sorry to hear of Ullrick's passing. We will all miss him. My sympathy and prayers go out to you and Vessa.

Dee

 
At 2:51 AM, Blogger Canberra BK said...

Oh no! :( This is furry furry sad news. I am furry upset to say goodbye to the beautiful orange Ullrick. Purrs to Ullrick's family.

 
At 3:16 AM, Blogger Edsel/The Pooch said...

my Mom and I are very sad that Ullrick is gone, we will all miss his spirit and his curiosity. please feel good that you gave him a good life, without fear, filled with love - and he gave it back to you. Our thoughts are with you, we lit a candle to light his way to the bridge.

 
At 3:21 AM, Blogger Gemini said...

We are furry sorry to hear. Purrs and headbutts.

 
At 3:30 AM, Blogger Finnegan & Buddy said...

We're so sorry that Ullrick couldn't get better and come home to you and Vessa. I'm sure you will comfort each other through the difficult times ahead. Ullrick is your Guardian Angel now and he watches over you both with love.

Many hugs & purrs,
Finnegan, Buddy & mom

 
At 3:42 AM, Blogger brandi said...

We send gentle headbumpies and purrs to you for your loss. My mama lost one of us to cancer several years ago, so she remembers how hard that was. Please remember all the sweet things and good things about little Ullrich, and keep those memories in your heart instead of how ill he was. Know that he is with his Creator, and is waiting for you patiently and in no pain.

 
At 4:58 AM, Blogger kattonic said...

It's always to soon no matter how long we have them. You made the right decision, but you're correct, it doesn't make it any easier to lose them. You have our deepest condolences.

 
At 5:34 AM, Blogger Victor Tabbycat said...

Oh, Charlotte, I'm so sorry. I just found out... I'm traveling on business. I'm so, so sorry. Ullrick was so beautiful. I lost my first cat as an adult to tumors, but she was 12 and lasted several months from the time we saw the bump on her side to her death. This quick, easy end was kindest. Ullrick knows how much you and Vessa love him. Be strong.

 
At 5:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We were so sorry to hear about Ullrick. What a fine, handsome, fluffy boy he was. Our thoughts are with you.

Miss Kitty and her TLO

 
At 5:37 AM, Blogger Rascal said...

You were very brave to make such a difficult decision. I am so sorry for your loss. Purrs.

 
At 5:38 AM, Blogger Catzee said...

I so sorry for the furry sad news. I would purr in your lap for you if I could.

 
At 5:42 AM, Anonymous Beau said...

Mom and I are extremely sad and sorry for your loss. It's never easy losing a loved one. Mom's eyes are leaking much water again. We will miss him terribly. Gentle purrrrrrrrrs and cuddles for you.

 
At 5:49 AM, Blogger Feline Oligarchy said...

We are very sad to hear about Ulrich and his journey over the Rainbow Bridge at such a young age. We consider ourselves quite fortuante that got to know him just a bit. We lost our brother Dempsey suddenly to cancer a few years ago and our mom still gets tears in her eyes. You made the right decision. Our hearts, thoughts and prayers are with you -- Alberta, Sky, Blackie and Charlie

 
At 5:49 AM, Blogger Smeagol & Strider (Mystery & Gizmo too!) said...

We are all so sorry to hear this. Even though his time with you was far too short, you gave him a wonderful life. We're sendin' purrs to you and Vessa.

 
At 5:56 AM, Blogger katnippia said...

We are very sorry for you loss. It's never easy letting go of our fuzz family. He was a very beautiful boy. I to just found his blog, by hearing of it on the meezers. Lots of kitty purrayers and lovers for you and Curiosa.

 
At 6:53 AM, Blogger Eclair said...

Even tho we dint noe Ullrick, if he wuz a frend of Skeezix then he had to be a gud cat. My ladee and I send our sympatheez to yoo. Yoo wur veree brave to let Ullrick go to the Rainbow Bridge so he dint haf to git sicker.
Kitty hugs and liks to yoo.

Eclair and her foodladee Deb

 
At 7:07 AM, Blogger William said...

We're so sad to learn this. :-(

 
At 8:59 AM, Anonymous Karen Jo said...

I am so sorry to read this sad news about Ullrick. I loved reading about his adventures. I had to make this decision myself many years ago. Time (lots of it) does eventually help the pain. I will be thinking of you and wishing you well.

 
At 9:06 AM, Blogger Chaotic Cat said...

Oh nooooo, I am terribly sorry for your loss, this made my Hummy's eyes leak all over again. Hummy lost one of our friends the other day too. It does hurt.

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger Eric and Flynn said...

We are so very sorry to hear about Ullrick, but as you said, it was the kindest thing for him. I have had to go through making that terrible decision several times in the past, and it never gets easier to make. Just remember that now he has no more pain, and will be watching over you and Vessa, and will meet old and new friends over the Rainbow Bridge.
Take care, Eric and Flynn's mum Jackie.

 
At 1:30 PM, Blogger DEBRA said...

We's is furry sad at Manx Mnews....

our deepest sympathies...

To Love Again

Oh what unhappy twist of fate
Has brought you homeless to my gate,
The gate where once another stood
To beg for shelter warmth and food?

For from that day I ceased to be
The master of my destiny,
While she, with purr and velvet paw
Became within my house the law.

She scratched the furniture and shed
And claimed the middle of my bed,
She ruled in arrogance and pride
And broke my heart the day she died.

So if you really think, oh cat
I'd willingly relive all that,
Because you come forlorn and thin
Well don't just stand there - come on in!

Author unknown

 
At 3:36 PM, Blogger The Tower Hill Mob said...

We are so sorry for your loss. We will say prayers for all of you.
Purrs and headbutts.

 
At 4:21 PM, Blogger Mia and Ghost said...

We are so sorry & sad. Purrs & headbutts to you.

 
At 5:13 PM, Blogger George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

We are so very sorry to hear the bad news. Of course, we can't let our dear ones suffer, so you made the right decision, but that doesn't make it any easier. We know Ullrick had a good home and was well loved. Give Vessa extra love & attention..she is grieving too.

Crew's Mom & Crew

 
At 6:18 PM, Anonymous Nancy, April, Remy and Miss K. said...

So sorry to hear of Ullrich's passing. He was a beautiful kitty and brough you lots of happiness. He brought me happiness by reading his blog. You and Vessa are in our thoughts and prayers.

 
At 7:39 PM, Blogger Merlin said...

I am very sorry.

We didn't know him, but I'm very sad and my mommy's face got wet too.

 
At 8:24 PM, Anonymous David & kitties said...

We're sorry that your beloved Ullrick crossed over The Rainbow Bridge. It's not easy to let go, but you made the best choice for the little guy. Our best thoughts and prayers to you and Vessa.

 
At 9:16 PM, Blogger DaisyMae Maus said...

How very sad ... Our condolences to you and your family.
DaisyMae Maus and the Feline Americans

 
At 11:01 PM, Blogger Jake and Bathsheba said...

We were very sad to read about Ullrick's passing. Please accept our deep sympathy. Our Mom always tears up when she hears about things like this. We all hope that your happy memories give you some comfort.

~Jake and Bathsheba (and their mom)

 
At 11:11 PM, Blogger Max said...

Oh man....ah, geez, I am so sorry :( I'm gonna miss him so much. It's just not gonna be the same without him online. At least he had his forever home with you, someone who would always do the right thing for him, even at the end.

damn.

 
At 11:55 PM, Blogger Oreo said...

OH NO!!!! We are SO sorry. You are in our thoughts & prayers Curiosa.

 
At 2:41 AM, Blogger Diva Kitty said...

'White shores . . . and beyond. A far green country, under a swift sunrise.' -Tolkin

We are sorry for your loss

 
At 3:19 AM, Anonymous Lee said...

I landed here tonight for the first time by seeing a comment in another blog about cats. It has to be providence that sent me here. Prayers for you. It is so awful to lose a beloved friend, especially one who was so young. My cats and I send you purrs.

 
At 4:23 AM, Blogger Kim said...

My heart goes out to you! You did the right thing and it's going to be hard for a while, but it will get better with time. Hang in there and prayers for you.

 
At 9:38 AM, Blogger jenianddean said...

Our hearts break for you. We are so sorry for your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

-Jasper, Josie, Huggy Bear and Maggie McKitten-Cat

 
At 11:12 AM, Anonymous tinker said...

Me and my lady bean are both really sad to hear about poor Ullrich; he was a beautiful cat and although his life was a short one, be comforted by the knowledge that you made it a happy one for him, which I'm sure he appreciated very much. Purrs and headbutts from me (Tinker)and my beans to you both.

 
At 1:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mom and I are so sorry to hear about Ullrich. Our Purrs go out to you.

Gimli

 
At 6:41 PM, Blogger jenianddean said...

I hate to see one of our Georgeous Gingers go, but I think you made the right call and the right time. He's where he needs to be...
--Jasper

 
At 9:44 PM, Blogger Valderbar de Cat said...

Oh so sorry to ehar about Ulrick. That's hard on the heart.

 
At 10:10 PM, Blogger Pet's are 4 Life said...

sorry to hear about your loss. Prayers and well wishes go out to you.

 
At 3:29 AM, Anonymous Kelly Cat said...

We're sorry to hear about your loss, and are sending healing purrs and vibes to you. Try to remember the good times with Ullrick, and may they help give you comfort.

 
At 5:56 PM, Blogger Luna said...

Bye my sweet cat =^^=

 
At 7:40 PM, Blogger zorro's crew said...

Oh No! we are all leeky eyes over here. We had to say goodbye to our beloved bandit aka pooh pooh bear last year and to our sweet baby this year. Headbuts and puurrayers for you all. we will all miss his gentle spirit. Peace be with you.

 
At 3:03 PM, Anonymous Sandy said...

Oh, L, I'm so sorry!

 
At 6:03 PM, Blogger Morgen said...

please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you & your family.

Morgen, Daphne, Chloe, and Auntie Spooker

 

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